1.) Relax: Strippers are there strictly for your entertainment. They're
not interested in stealing your man. All they want is to keep you
and your guy happy, so you'll keep forking over your money. That's
it.
2.) Stay
off the dance floor: How
would you like it if some chick showed up at your office and started trying to
do your job for you? You wouldn't appreciate it . . . and neither do
strippers. Plus, you're probably just going to embarrass yourself
anyway.
3.) Don't
forget to tip: Some women think
that because they have BREASTS, they don't have to tip the dancers. But
if you're watching the show, and if you're taking up a seat, you need to tip
the talent.
4.) Don't
get grabby: Certain dancers actually will
allow female customers to touch them more than male customers. But
until you have permission, you need to assume the same hands-off policy that
applies to men applies to you too.
5.) Don't
assume your stripper wants a threesome: Strippers
aren't there to help you fulfill your bi-curiosity, and they're not going to
come home for a threesome with you and your man.
--TIPS FOR
MEN . . . AND LESBIANS:
1.) Dress
appropriately: Never go to the
strip club wearing sweatpants, gym shorts or thin pants without underwear. There's
nothing that will keep the dancers further away from you than an obvious TENT
POLE.
2.) Tip
. . . a lot: This is a win-win situation. She
wants to get her hands on as much of your money as possible, and the more you
tip the better service she'll provide.
3.) Ask
for permission: Strippers are
people too, and if you want to touch them you have to ask if it's okay first. The
good news is that if you're cool about it, there's a chance she'll say yes . .
. but it's going to cost you.
4.) Don't
ask for sexual favors: Most
strip clubs are running a legitimate operation, and sex is strictly forbidden. If
you ask for sexual favors, you're going to have to deal with a bunch of angry
dancers and security guards, and you might get kicked out.
5.) Observe club norms: If everyone is setting tips on the edge of the stage,
don't try to stuff your money in the dancer's G-string. And if
everyone is slipping bills into a dancer's garter, don't ball up your money and
throw it at her. That's not cool.
