- Seeing a woman not covered head-to-toe in flowing garments and not being able to find a single rock to throw at her.

- Taking off your headdress and having others make fun of your "turban hair."

- Achmed's stupid April Fools' joke where he says he saw a picture of Muhammad in a magazine, but it just turns out to be Muhammad Ali.

- President Obama rambling on about "hope" and "change" at the last Al-Qaeda meeting.

- Tiny packages of airline peanuts.  Come on, people . . . it IS their last meal.

- Butler vs. UConn in the Finals.  Snooze alert!

- Seeing a woman driving and having nothing to use to chop off her hands.

- Prissy neighbors who ask you to roast your goat somewhere other than their driveway.

-Hardware stores that get suspicious when you ask where you can buy 50 tons of fertilizer.

-Hollywood movies that portray Muslim Extremists as Muslim Extremists.

-Bouncers at European discos who are trained to spot fuses in your shorts.

-When their kids don't extinguish the torches at bedtime.  "Where were you born, in a one-room safe house?"