--When you smoke enough of it, you forget you left your hit Comedy Central show at the top of your game.

--Other people watch "SpongeBob".  You GET "SpongeBob".

--The same seven-hour Phish song never gets old.

--Blowing smoke into your cat's face equals instant hilarity.

--Got a few hours to kill?  Stare at your hand.

--You can listen to Bob Marley for nine hours straight without realizing all the songs pretty much sound the same.

--You're automatically AWESOME at Hacky Sack.

--Friends are always impressed with your four-hour discourse about why "The Big Lebowski" is the greatest work in cinematic history.

--Paranoia among potheads is a myth.  At least according to the mouse-slash-government agent living under your couch.

--You always have something to talk about at Thanksgiving with that weird uncle who lives in a van.

--Being a rich white kid who sports filthy dreads and puts a Jamaica bumper sticker on your BMW definitely doesn't make you a poseur.

--No one EVER gets sick of you quoting lines from "Friday" for the ten millionth time.

--You sleep soundly, knowing that thanks exclusively to you and your buddies, Frito-Lay will continue to make Funyuns.

--You can get any girl you want, once they get a load of those sexy bloodshot eyes and the skunky smell that follows you around.

--The first 7 years of college.

--Understanding how wonderful a cold grape soda can be.

--You know a TON about government conspiracies.

--You're the envy of all your scarfaced, yellow-toothed meth-head friends.

--I could reread this stupid list to you right now and you'd laugh at it just as hard.