5AM (1):

-         Join the trend on hating oh white people! After all, everybody’s doing it.  

-         The whole ‘deflate-gate’ issue is already getting old. We’ve got a president that’s destroying the country and soft balls are all that people are concerned about.

-         Why is it that all of these huge sports guys are dumb as rocks?

5AM (2):

-         A man was being sued by his landlord after damaging a fine marble floor with splashes caused by his urination. The judge ruled in the man’s favor.

-         Would you sue someone for saving your kid’s life because they gave the child life saving prescription medication?

6AM (1):

-         Parody: This portion of the show brought to you by the Food Porn channel.

-         The king of Saudi Arabia has died at the age of 90. The new king is a young man in his 70s.

-         How does Drew Brees like his balls? Probably just the way the NFL tells him to like them.

6AM (2):

-         If you missed Fox’s new show Backstrom, do yourself a favor and check it out.

-         When you’re old and rich, you deserve a little butt kissing.  

6AM (3):

-         Why do people worry about getting old so much? The alternative is to be dead.  

-         What are the top things that people worry about the most? Top answers were low energy, getting old and debt. At least Barack doesn’t have to worry about debt…

-         Let’s be honest: Shooting a criminal is something we’d all secretly like to do.

-         A tennis ball boy caught a 120mph ball in the, well… balls.

6AM (4):

-         Parody: Check out Stanley Pooper’s new film American Diaper

-         How many Frisbees did you go through when you were a kid?

-         Emails

7AM (1)

-         Guest: Samantha Hess – Professional cuddler, author. Offers certification course for $3200.

-         Audio: There’s a Frisbee for all occasions.

-         Men can teach a woman how to throw a Frisbee like a woman can teach a man how to use a mop. Not going to happen.

7AM (2):

-         ASU is essentially a party school. That said, it’s no surprise that the school offers a course based in pseudoscience about the privileges of the Caucasian race.

-         The best news stories always start out with “a man in Florida…”  

7AM (3):

-         Parody: Lee Randall has expired off the car lot.

-         What are the advantages of being the manager of a nudie bar?  

-         What’s the difference between a Black Bear’s poop and poop from other bears?

7AM (4):

-         Parody: What if ISIS performed at the Super Bowl?

-         There’s nothing worse than a bully. Kind of like when George H.W. Bush refused to shake John and Steve’s hand.

8AM (1):

-         Where did the term “saw bones” come from? The answer will gross you out!

-         Taser Report

8AM (2):

-         Funny how a lot of celebrity women will hang on to pictures of them taken decades ago.

-         We could construct an entire show based on Barack Obama’s lies.

-         Remember the two thugs that stole a man’s iPad and then uploaded the video to social media. They’ve been caught are now serving time.

-         Parody: Let’s take a minute to examine a handful of Barack’s lies.

-         Parody: Liar! Barack won’t lie to us, will he?

-         In 10 or 20 years, Obama will be lying about the lies he told during his presidency.

8AM (3):

-         5 Random Facts

-         The most dangerous sex position for a man is when the woman is on top. Luckily for Bill Cosby, he doesn’t have to worry about anything like this.

-         Since engines are so quiet today, many manufacturers are using fake engine sounds in their vehicles.

-         All of the people that used to be on The Office are doing pretty well with other projects.

8AM (4):

-         Budweiser will be going back to the adorable puppy in their Super Bowl ads. Sadly, the company has decided to do away with the iconic Clydesdales due to cost restrictions.

-         Good news: The ‘doomsday clock’ has been moved up.

9AM (1):

-         The Earth will decide its own temperature, not humans.

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Hard to believe that one of the girls from Saved by the Bell is 41 today.  

-         Mr. Eaux explains the back story behind why he chose a single letter for his name.

9AM (2):

-         Let’s face, a lot of people listen to this show to be hip.

-         Do you take many selfies? You should know that the duck face has been replaced by ‘surprise face’

-         Prisons are now hiring world class chefs. This begs the question: Will prisons soon become popular dining destinations?

-         In Washington State, a principal is being sued after saving a child’s life by allowing him to use her inhaler because he was without his. The principal is now being sued by the parents of the boy.

9AM (3):

-         We should publish statistics of politicians just like we publish the nutritional content of food.

-         Emails – Have you ever thought about writing directly to Barack?

9AM (4):

 

-         While in college, Eric Holder was the leader of the student Afro-American Society that led an armed riot demanding that the student ROTC center be renamed the “Malcom-X Lounge.”

-         The more we find out about Halle Berry the more we’re glad that we never hooked up with her.

-         Pepperidge Farms cookies may be worth more than you think. One man was caught with $18,000 worth of stolen cookies in his car.