5AM (1):
- Here’s a word of
advice: If you can catch a flight down to Brazil today, go ahead and book it.
- Lance Armstrong
is back in the news again. The guy may get a bad rap, but he’s still worth $125
million.
5AM (2):
- Is it racist to
call someone “Mami” these days?
- A New York woman
decided to drive her car into a pizza joint after the restaurant lost her
order.
- According to
research, married couples have a second ‘sex peak’ that occurs near the 50th
anniversary mark.
- A Federal judge
has stalled Barack’s move to open up the US-Mexico border to illegals.
- Leslie Gore has
died.
6AM (1):
- Will you be able
to move past the death of Leslie Gore?
- A Houston man has
made bond after stabbing his girlfriend in front of her kid. After his release,
he went on yet another killing spree.
- Violence broke
out in during a showing of 50 Shades of
Grey over the weekend.
- 30 percent of
people believe that Brian Williams can regain his credibility.
- Sarah Palin was
in the audience for the SNL 40th anniversary special.
6AM (2):
- 5 Random Facts
- Emails
- Of the seven
Kings that come before the appearance of the antichrist, which number is Obama?
6AM (3):
- This day in
history
- What exactly is
the correct pronunciation of the word “blessed?”
6AM (4):
- Thanks to the
Liberals, we know that Scott Walker didn’t go to college.
- Parody: Turns out
a degree in Liberal Arts isn’t all it’s made out to be.
- Calls
- Do you know what
“resting bitch face” is?
7AM (1)
- Rebellion is NOT
buying a mattress during a President’s Day special.
- An HPD officer
has confirmed that one of their own rookies was arrested in an Academy for
attempting to steal ammunition. In his defense, maybe the squad is out of
money…
- Parody: Let’s
spend one minute inside a woman’s head
7AM (2):
- A study indicates
that the modern woman has 5 significant regrets on average.
7AM (3):
- 1-800-FLOWERS is
under fire for reportedly not being able to handle the amount of holiday
traffic.
- Ladies: would you
shoot your man if he wouldn’t have sex with you?
- Jethro Tull is
producing a rock opera based on the man that the band is named after.
- Calls
7AM (4):
- How many times
have you found a pipe bomb when walking your dog?
- Taser report
8AM (1):
- Audio: The only
reason to visit Florida is to identify your daughter’s dead body
- There’s nothing
more accurate than a confession made on a death bed. Case in point: The ‘global
warming’ scam.
- The Democrats are
incurring penalties associated with Obamacare and they’re NOT happy about it.
8AM (2):
- Will Mr. Kenneth
be the winner of HGTV’s dream house?
- Calls
- How different
would America be if Ross Perot were elected?
- When people start
treating the President for what he is, just a man, there won’t be so much urge
to take him out.
8AM (3):
- Parody: What do
ISIS and Kanye West have in common?
8AM (4):
- Used to be that
American teachers taught kids they could achieve anything. Today, kids are
taught that rich people are inherently smarter.
- It doesn’t take a
genius to figure out why people want to remain on welfare.
- Lesson of the day:
9AM (1):
- Is Dear Abby
still around?
- Celebrity
Birthdays
- TV networks
sucked so bad that they had to come up with Internet-only networks.
9AM (2):
- Paul McCartney
really can’t sing anymore, but no one wants to be the one to tell him.
- Parody: Organic
Valley has a plan to save the ‘bro colony’
9AM (3):
- Turns out that
many art institutions will ban the ‘selfie stick’
- Jack White has
gone public with a letter directed at the media urging everyone to stop with
the guacamole jokes.
- Audio: A representative
from the State Department wants to ensure that members of ISIS have legitimate
jobs in an attempt to stifle their devious habits.
9AM (4):
- Here’s a credo to
live by: “Work hard, care more”
- Why is it that
fat comedians are inherently funnier?
