5AM (1):
- Eyebrows are
being raised after the Clintons raised a significant amount of money that
turned out to be from the Middle East.
- As rich people,
the Clintons don’t have to spend their money on much of anything; most of it is
simply donated to them.
- Inconvenient
truth: Hillary Clinton spent over $8 million on traveling alone last year, all
under the guise of her foundation.
- According to
Barack, Islam has been “woven into the fabric of America” since the
establishment of the country.
5AM (2):
- Hot Tub Time Machine hits theaters this
weekend.
- Thomas Jefferson
read the Koran just like Barack, but came away with different conclusions.
6AM (1):
- Do you like
escalators or elevators better?
- The thing about
escalators in America is that people don’t actually walk on them; they ride
them.
- Snow storms are
now being named by meteorologists.
6AM (2):
- Have you heard of
the term “DUFF?”
- The Department of
Homeland Security believes that domestic terrorism is more dangerous than
foreign terrorism.
6AM (3):
- And now, a lesson
in history.
- Most Americans
would trade Obama for Putin any day of the week.
- It’s sobering
that the leader of Jordan, an Arab country, is more of a badass than our President
could ever hope to be.
6AM (4):
- How long before
you can buy furry Russian hats on the streets of America?
- Big news: Texas’
first lesbian couple was married in Austin yesterday.
7AM (1)
- Parody: Weather
system “Pandora” sounds like a naughty arctic blast
- Does Bill Cosby
still talk the same when he isn’t on camera?
- Remember the big
actress “Precious?” According to reports, she’s become difficult to work with
since becoming famous.
7AM (2):
- Audio: NRA commercial
- Matel is coming
out with a new Barbie.
7AM (3):
- 5 Random Facts
- Parody: What
would happen if Sharia law was brought to Texas?
- This day in
history
- How different
would the US be if we allowed people the right to duel again?
7AM (4):
- Audio: A viral
video has surfaced depicting a crying stripper performing a webcam show.
- Taser Report
8AM (1):
- Parody: Turns out
that Waffle House isn’t big on playing radio contests.
8AM (2):
- In the world of
strip clubs, strippers always have two names: their stage name and the one they
claim is real.
- Tragedy in India
– This morning’s tragedy may not be worthy of music.
- Stripper glitter
is a special kind of glitter that you can only get at a stripping store.
8AM (3):
- Emails – Listener
Chris needs to place his dog, Peanut, one of the first canine 10 percenters.
- The Houston Rodeo
kicks off on Sunday night with the “Best Bikes” competition.
- Would Jazz Fest
ever consider having a rodeo at the same time the festival is going on?
8AM (4):
- We don’t have a
problem with Big D and Bubba, but they know their place in the ratings.
9AM (1):
- Parody: Does your
kid get distracted easily? Try Prolapse.
- Have you ever
asked your doctor if a medication is right for you?
- Celebrity
Birthdays
- Surprisingly, the
media isn’t taking the arrest of Vanilla Ice very seriously.
- Has anyone ever
done a mash up with Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” and Beck’s “Two Turntables and
a Microphone?”
9AM (2):
- According to
Barack, Islam has been “woven into the very foundation of this country” since
day one.
- Parody: Are you a
down-on-your-luck terrorist? Try Jobs for Jihadis!
- ISIS has
discovered that there’s big money in harvesting organs from the Christians they
kill. Barack still thinks that we should give them jobs, however.
- ISIS will kill
any doctor that refuses to harvest organs from Christians they murdered.
- Calls
- Baton Rouge
police were summoned to an address after a call came in reporting that a man
punched out a 2-year-old child.
9AM (3):
- Do cops even come
to career day anymore?
- The creepiness of
Joe Biden is unrivaled
- Calls
9AM (4):
- How many
Vietnamese or Samoan football players have there been?
- Assignment for
the weekend: Those that don’t have the W&J app, what are you waiting for?
