5AM (1):
- Do you ever wake
up with a song in your head and have no idea how it got there?
- Warren Buffett
drinks 5 Coke’s a day
- A Christian
musician is accepting paychecks for the use of his song in the film 50 Shades of Grey
- Kid Rock is a
boob man, not an ass man. Thanks, Kid, we all needed to know.
5AM (2):
- It will soon be a
felony to possess ammunition for AR-15 assault rifles thanks to Obama.
6AM (1):
- Ted Cruz has the propensity
to get too preachy when he speaks.
- We need a
reverse-the-revolution kind of revolution in politics right now.
- Big anticipation
for the appearance of Rick Perry’s glasses today.
- Maybe 2016 is the
year for a short, pit-bull-esque kind of president.
6AM (2):
- Sad news: The
Kardashians have signed a $100 million television deal.
- Parody: Is this
what every bro country song sounds like?
- If you watch the
TV show Nashville, you’ll get a peek into the ‘bro country’ world
6AM (3):
- Net Neutrality
has passed, but we still don’t know what’s in it. Remind you of anything?
6AM (4):
- Parody: It’s up
to the government to decide whether or not you can alter the speed of your
data.
- Turns out you’ve
been cooking your pasta wrong all these years.
7AM (1)
- 5 Random Facts
- A black
basketball icon has died.
- Who knew that
there was a time when the NBA had no black basketball players?
- It’s only right
that white folks can’t have their own history month.
- Brace yourself:
KFC has decided to sell the world’s first edible coffee cup
- Parody: What
other edible products will KFC sell?
7AM (2):
- America’s
attention was captured by two llamas on the loose in Arizona yesterday. Was it
any coincidence that more attention was paid to the black llama?
- Jorge, the
climate-supporting civil engineer wrote the show yesterday to further defend
his position after calling in to the show.
- ISIS, like the
animals they are, flooded a museum and destroyed priceless ancient artifacts.
7AM (3):
- How much money
has Hillary really stashed away over the years under the guise of the ‘Clinton
Foundation?’
- Parody: America
needs Putin, so stop acting like a little girl!
- Calls
7AM (4):
- Humans are
supposed to eat meat and vegetables.
- Calls
8AM (1):
- Adrian Peterson
wants to be traded to the Dallas Cowboys.
- What would you do
if you woke up after being drugged and your testicles had been removed?
8AM (2):
- Officially there
are three more weeks of winter.
- Parody: How does
Gandalf feel about weather?
- Parody: Ozzy
Osbourne wants winter to f*ck off!
8AM (3):
- Has Pat Robertson
ever addressed the issue of tramp stamps?
- Audio: Pat
Robertson sounds off about posting ultrasound photos to social media.
- The ‘architects’
of the W&J app are not doing their job.
- Calls – Are there
any demons in the money that Pat Robertson gets?
8AM (4):
- 9 people were
found dead in Missouri, but no one knows how any of the victims died.
- Missouri has a
Texas County and a newspaper with the name Houston in it.
- Audio: How does
Pat Robertson feel about tattoos?
- As a supplement
to the Net Neutrality verdict, W&J have taken a motion to memorize the
Internet and provide you with a low cost Google alternative.
- The consensus is
in: Everyone loves the audio of the Slingblade impersonator driving through
Starbucks.
9AM (1):
- Is the dress blue
and black or white and gold? A photo of a dress has been circulating the
Internet, leaving people puzzled as to its color.
- Celebrity
Birthdays
- Barack has
trouble understanding what a ‘surprise attack’ really is.
- What would
General Patton have thought about Obama?
9AM (2):
- This day in
history
9AM (3):
- Calls – Is it
racist to think a black golden doodle would be faster than the other dogs?
- How much does
Matthew McConaughey charge to do appearances?
9AM (4):
- Is it acceptable
to withhold a tip at a restaurant just because you served in the military?
