5AM (1):
- It sure would be
great to be evil, but we might be too lazy to handle a commitment like that.
- Obama won’t
accept an honorary Muslim; you’re either all in or all out.
5AM (2):
- Last week a man
walked around LA with a fake Oscar getting free things like Gatorade and
condoms.
- If cops can’t
subdue an unarmed hobo without emptying their gun into him, a bigger issue is
at hand.
6AM (1):
- Two people tried
to breech the security of the White House yesterday.
- Snap Chat is
reportedly worth over $19 billion. How are they making all this money when the
app has no ads?
6AM (2):
- Audio: A ‘special
agent’ thinks that animals may change their behavior for the worse if marijuana
becomes pervasive in society.
- Parody: Have you
tried pot-infused cereal?
- Andre Johnson
won’t retire a Texan after all.
6AM (3):
- Have you seen the
lineup for the new season of Sharknado?
- Calls – If you
eat a stoned rabbit, will you yourself become stoned?
- Where does Bob McNair
come in on the billionaire list?
6AM (4):
- Guest: Todd Kercheval
– Wants to change liquor laws on Sunday
7AM (1)
- Who else couldn’t
make it to the Leonard Nemoy funeral this weekend? Turns out that the Westboro
Baptist church had plans to attend, however they never knew where the
precession would be held.
- Have you checked
out the new character on House of Cards?
- Parody: What does
Vladimir Putin do if he needs a girlfriend?
7AM (2):
- Parody: What
happens when you call the social security office?
- Parody: Dr. Cosby
wants to end winter as well… of course, this includes the dispensing of
chloroform.
7AM (3):
- Parody: Police in
Cedar Hill recorded a spoof of Matthew Mcconaughey’s Lincoln commercial.
- Taser Report
7AM (4):
- Parody: Welcome
to March. What all is the month know for?
8AM (1):
- Judge Judy just
signed her new contract through 2020 for $45 million/year.
- What does the
black police officer on Judge Judy get paid?
- Where will Andre
Johnson wind up next?
- JJ Watt has a
cabin out in the middle of nowhere. Turns out it’s much more magnificent than
the media has portrayed.
- What would happen
if everyone stopped attending Texans games? The might end up like the Oilers…
8AM (2):
- This day in
history: 13 boxes of Jell-O are sold every second.
- Have you checked
out the girls on The Bachelor?
8AM (3):
- Someone stole
Steve Francis’ chain at a rap club.
- Hillary Clinton
did not have an official email address the entire time she was Secretary of
State.
- Was a legally
blind man responsible for perusing the contents of Lois Lerner’s emails?
- If your sister
baked you a penis cake, would you have second thoughts about your relationship?
8AM (4):
- What is Barack up
to these days? According to reports, banning ammunition for AR-15 is high on
his to-do list.
9AM (1):
- Celebrity
Birthdays
- Who has a home
phone anymore? Used to be that everyone had hard-wired phones; something that
kids today can’t grasp.
9AM (2):
- There’s a new
mantra referred to as “RISE UP” that’s aimed at helping people wake up more
efficiently in the morning.
- Emails
- Bill Cosby sure
knows what “Funky Cold Medina” is; it’s a date rape drug!
- If the day comes
when men in black suits with guns come to get us, should we put up a fight or
just go with the flow?
- This day in
history: Rodney King was beaten in the streets of LA. If something like this
happened in current times, he probably would’ve been shot.
- According to
reports, Sylvester Stallone broke up a fight on the set of the new Rocky film.
- For those of you
looking at a career in Hollywood, examine the career of Clint Eastwood.
9AM (3):
- 5 Random Facts
- Not until Barack
came around did Americans feel like foreigners in their own country.
9AM (4):
- What’s troubling
with this headline: “Kanye West addresses Oxford University” – Why in the world
is he allowed to speak in public, much less at Oxford University?
