5AM (1):

-         According to reports, 7 missiles have been launched into the East Sea. Was this a failed attempt at starting WWIII?

-         Barrack’s appearance on late night television would have us believe that nothing is wrong in the White House. In fact, things are so good that the President even read his mean Tweets.

-         Univision doesn’t celebrate free speech. An employee of the company was fired for making a rude comment about Michelle Obama.

5AM (2):

-         Why is this even a headline?: “Transgender teen gets reality show”

-         Have a good Michelle Obama joke for us? Do share!

6AM (1):

-         Every state is good at something: North Dakota has the biggest dongs in the US and Delaware is the best at being moderate

-         Remember when a young, intrepid Hillary was fired from the Watergate investigation? According to the man that fired her, she was nothing but a liar. Nothing has changed.

-         In Alaska, a ‘sourdough’ is a person that’s lived there for a long time.

6AM (2):

-         Forensic experts in Italy claim to have reconstructed the DNA of fascist leader using his preserved… well, man juice.

-         Parody: What if we cloned Abraham Lincoln?

6AM (3):

-         Remember Y2K? Much like global warming, nothing happened.

-         Word to the unwise: Stop telling people on social media when you’re going out of town!

6AM (4):

-         Nothing says rodeo like Pit Bull!

-         It would behoove Rand Paul to shave his lamb’s hair. Perhaps a shaved head would look better for the presidential race.

7AM (1)

-         Kanye is often referred to as a genius. We still don’t get it.

-         Parody: If Kanye can use auto tune, anyone can.

-         5 Random Facts

-         There must be at least 300 mattress stores here in Houston.

7AM (2):

**

-         Emails – Is Ted Cruz Cuban?

-         Street Audio: What are your thoughts on Barack’s new earrings?

-         This day in history

7AM (3):

-         John Belushi used to do an entire bit on Joe Cocker’s unusual stage presence.

-         Audio: Jimmy Paige isn’t a fan of the digital age of recording

-         Turns out that a billionaire isn’t as great of a friend as you’d think.

7AM (4):

-         Who’d of thought that Barack’s White House pays women substantially less than men?

-         Parody: Feminist? Try Amazon Prime for women.

-         Audio: Liam Neeson wants your guns taken away. Shocking when you consider that his entire acting career has been predicated on gun violence.

-         Emails – Listener Dave has an idea on where Liam Neeson should stick his anti-gun propaganda.

8AM (1):

-         Parody: We found Hillary Clinton’s childhood diary

-         7 surface-to-air missiles were launched from North Korea overnight. The missiles wound up at the bottom of the ocean instead of the US. Is this the precursor to WWIII?

-         When you think about it, being a zombie doesn’t sound all that bad. No job and all the time in the world to search for food.

-         Will the volcano at the bottom of Yellowstone be the end of the world as we know it?

8AM (2):

-         Audio: A zombie is much like a Democrat

-         Political correctness is a blight on American society.

-         Parody: Are you a riot shamer?

-         Ferguson supporters are celebrating the shooting of cops

-         Calls

8AM (3):

-         Audio: Remember the group Anonymous? A member of the group made a 6-minute video berating Kanye West.

-         Hillary Clinton’s old boss on the Watergate case came forward to tell why he fired her. Once a liar, always a liar.

-         In Italy, scientists have extracted DNA from the spooge of a fascist leader in an attempt to clone him. Question is: why?

-         Parody: What if we cloned Abraham Lincoln?

8AM (4):

-         What’s going on with Putin? No one can seem to find him.

-         Emails – What would it have been like if Barack would’ve been around the day after Pearl Harbor?

-         Parody: What if Putin was on Match.com?

9AM (1):

-         Should Bruno Mars have to pay the heirs of James Brown for replicating a signature of Brown’s music?

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         To celebrate Andrew Jackson’s birthday, we’re trying to take him off the $20 bill.

-         Liam Neeson isn’t anti gun, he’s your gun.

9AM (2):

-         Barack wants you to think that everything is OK in the White House.

9AM (3):

-         Emails – What will happen when the day comes when the boys are ready to retire? Maybe a hot Pilipino chick should be the one to serve as a replacement.

-         The only reason Dan Rather left is because America caught him lying about George Bush.

-         Emails – We have listeners all the way from India

 

9AM (4):

 

-         If Houston’s own Mattress Mac swapped places with Joel Osteen, they would both still be filthy rich.

-         Want to piss off a Muslim? Have a man put on a Burka.

-         Rumors are spreading that Putin may be sick.