5AM (1):

-         Have you heard of Clayton Kershaw? Neither have we. According to reports, he’s baseballs highest paid player.

-         Would you believe it if someone told you that a cat makes over $3 million a year?

5AM (2):

-         Great news for fat people everywhere: Chocolate is better for you than exercise.

-         Jimmy Paige is now dating a woman over 40 years younger than him.

-         Has Jon Stewart’s replacement already crossed the line? According to reports, South African comedian Noah Trevor made an anti-Semitic cupcake the other day. Remember, it’s okay to make jokes about white people, but Jews… think again.

6AM (1):

-         Today is April fool’s Day. Fact is: it’s just not a big deal anymore.

-         Audio: The BBC made a version of an April fool’s prank over 50 years ago

6AM (2):

-         5 Random Questions

-         The oldest person in the world died last night in Japan. The woman was 117 years old.

-         Joni Mitchell has been rushed to the hospital. Details are unclear as to her current condition.

6AM (3):

-         Private businesses should have the right to refuse service to anyone they choose.

-         Parody: Would Mother Earth’s Bakery make a racist cake with swastikas?

-         Parody: The owner at Soul Food Bakery must be one of the good ones. Wait, good what?

-         Should Noah Trevor be reprimanded for making an anti-Semitic joke? 

6AM (4):

-         This day in history

-         According to critics, radio is on its way out. In the mean time no one is watching network television.

7AM (1)

-         Racism is largely a creation of politicians, not average people.

-         This day in history: Marvin Gaye’s father shot and killed him on April fool’s.

-         Do you remember the April fool’s stunt that Taco Bell pulled a few years ago? The company claimed that it was going to buy the Liberty Bell and use it in their new ad campaign.

7AM (2):

-         It’s important to maintain a healthy dose of skepticism in life.

-         If Billy Ed told you that Harry Reid was nothing but a big fat liar would you believe him?

-         Parody: Don’t become the next victim of April fool’s

-         Calls

-         It took two months to get the boobs of a naked woman on Google Maps off of the site.

7AM (3):

-         Audio: There’s a new band in Houston called “The Suffers”

-         The average cost of a prom is now $1000. Mr. Eaux suspects that this is probably just a white prom though.

7AM (4):

-         How hard should it be for amputee veteran to get a leg? One VA doctor thinks it wise to require an X-ray of the nonexistent leg before soldiers are provided with new appendages.

-         John Kerry is spending $3 million a day overseas right now sitting at a large table.

8AM (1):

-         Taser report

-         A 51-year-old Michigan man has been jailed for being a recidivist of indecent exposure.

-         April 1^st is Walton & Johnson day in Louisiana. Is there an underlying joke to this?

8AM (2):

-         Someone attacked Dave Chappell with a banana peel at a recent show in New Mexico.

-         Have you ever told someone they have a great looking banana bunker?

8AM (3):

-         A new survey outlines the strangest things that people have done behind the wheel: 15% have had sex, and 9% have changed clothes. The list also includes things like taking selfies and eating.

-         What’s the strangest thing you’ve done while driving?

8AM (4):

-         Parody: It can’t be possible that The Rolling Stones are doing yet another farewell tour?

-         Have you ever wondered why old people put tennis balls on the bottom of their walkers?

-         The US does well in a list of the countries with the most deadly diseases.

-         Chicago has been names the city with the worst public schools. You can’t blame the republicans because there are none.

-         Parody: You didn’t build that!

9AM (1):

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Easter is just 4 days away

-         Why do we call it “Good Friday?” A more appropriate term would be “Kill Jesus day”

-         Have you ever made a sex tape?

9AM (2):

-         How long will it take to rebuild the mess that Barack has destroyed? The answer could be more than 10 years.

-         Obama announced recently that he has decided to free 22 hardened criminals from the prison system.

-         Guess who loves Michelle Obama’s lunch program? The answer is exactly what you would expect: pigs. According to reports, the food that doesn’t get eaten in schools will go to hungry pigs.

-         Does anyone really enjoy birthday celebrations at restaurants?

9AM (3):

-         FEMA is about to spend $3 billion to upgrade public housing in NYC. According to the emergency organization, the effort is to ensure that public housing is sufficient enough to withstand the next hurricane that hits New York.

-         The Supreme Court is refusing to hear a case where American students wore American Flag shirts to school on Cinco de Mayo.

9AM (4):

-         The Bunny Ranch in Nevada is looking for quality-control testers.