5AM (1):

 

-         If you’re going to be the government’s bitch, you might as well dress the part.

-         OJ Simpson got slammed up against the cafeteria wall by a white supremacist in prison.

 

5AM (2):

 

-         What do you think OJ said when he was getting the piss beat out of him in prison? Maybe “do you know who I am?”

-         Don’t you hate it when a rich woman’s shoe fund runs low and she has to ‘slum it?’

-         It’s one thing to be a whore, but you’re in an entirely different league if you’re a pricey whore.

-         The Americans on the ISS are probably hoping Barack won’t piss off Putin anymore since we’re relying on the Russians to ferry us to and from the Space Station.

 

6AM (1):

 

-         According to a study, the top ten jobs in the world require a good command of math.

-         We can all blame our guidance counselor for leading us astray into the world of radio.

-         If you’re involved in a carjacking, the best thing to do is to use your vehicle as a weapon.

 

6AM (2):

 

-         All the major news networks want you to stop struggling with the concept that Hillary is your next president.

-         What are the worst baby names you’ve ever heard?

-         Two TSA screeners in Denver were caught in a scheme trying to fondle men’s packages. Luckily the offenders were women.

 

6AM (3):

 

-         Yesterday, the average wait time for the help line at the IRS was 52 minutes.

-         Regular Joes dread tax day; politicians on the other hand celebrate it.

-         For your sake, we leave out most of the celebrity news stories that other morning shows revel in telling.

-         Percy Sledge has died.

 

6AM (4):

 

**

-         Could you start a radio format that only plays portions of songs? In the age of Millenials, the answer is probably yes.

-         A California cop was arrested yesterday for tickling a corpse.

 

 

 

 

7AM (1)

 

-         Parody: Bill Clinton has a rather large, Jurassic-sized secret he’s hiding from Monica….

-         What was the downfall of MC Hammer?

 

7AM (2):

 

-         In a typical divorce court, the woman usually ends up with everything. What would be the case of gay divorce court?

-         Will Rand Paul’s lamb’s hair be the end of his presidential run?

-         Sea World has a new seafood festival. Does anyone see the irony of that?

 

7AM (3):

 

-         Parody: And now a word about fedoras from Morgan Freeman

-         This day in history

-         What are the top states with the greatest tax returns on your IRS?

 

7AM (4):

 

-         Parody: Is it a good idea to tell people that they’re on the no-fly list?

 

8AM (1):

 

-         Which countries have the most expensive Big Macs?

8AM (2):

 

**

-         Street Audio: Homeless man explains to Producer Ken why Hillary would make a great president.

-         Have you met the other side of Hillary Clinton? Phrases like “get the ‘f’ away” are common for her to blurt out at her detail.

-         Remember when Hillary told Americans that she was shot at by sniper fire in Iraq?

-         Have you heard of these obscure NBA ‘stars?’

-         The number one most popular selling NBA jersey is LeBron James.

 

8AM (3):

 

-         Street Audio: Producer Ken uncovers why this Hispanic man likes Hillary Clinton so much.

-         Calls – Tommy has been listening to the show since he was 2.

-         5 Random Facts

 

8AM (4):

 

-         The Left loves to bring up The Constitution, but when Barack does something to override it, they feel it was necessary.

-         When Hillary wins the presidential election, people think that things will go back to the way they were in the Bill Clinton days.

-         Audio: Hillary Clinton song

-         65-year-old Billy Joel is about to be a father with a 30-something girl. Good for him.

 

9AM (1):

 

-         Celebrity Birthdays

-         Remember when leg warmers were in style?

-         Apparently OJ has a thing for snatching cookies.

 

9AM (2):

 

-         The hot Louisiana teacher accused of having an orgy with another teacher and a 17-year-old student is facing light charges and time in a mental institution.

-         A Florida man involved in a 2-year-long relationship with a woman in Oregon got one hell of a surprise when he decided to meet up with her. The woman bashed his skull in with a baseball bat.

 

9AM (3):

 

-         According to a new study, Facebook isn’t dead yet. The 13-16 crowd is still very much using the site

-         Be glad you’re not Aaron Hernandez right now. He’s been found guilty on all counts of first-degree murder.

-         Why did Hillary Clinton name her van Scooby? It looks more like a hearse than anything…

 

9AM (4):

 

-         Have you ever heard about men being victims of discrimination in the STEM fields?

-         Calls - Steven wants to know why we think the IRS is such a bad organization.

-         Going to a ‘flat tax’ system is nothing but fair.

-         Remember what Will Rogers used to say about taxes?