5AM (1):

-    As much as Barack wants you to think that he’s the reincarnation of Hitler, it’s clear he doesn’t have the balls; he’s simply a hand puppet. Hillary, on the other hand, has more balls than Barack will ever have.

5AM (2):

-    Yelling at pop-up ads is the modern equivalent of yelling “get off my lawn!”
-    If you’re a disease, the best place to start spreading yourself is Asia or Africa.
-    Colorado is becoming what Napa is to wine with marijuana. There are now cannabis resorts offering pot meals, pot yoga and other interesting pairings.
-    How long before a ‘weed sommelier’ comes about?

6AM (1):

-    Wal Mart is cleaning house and replacing a large portion of the company with cheaper workers from outside the US.
-    FIFA has postponed the selection process for the 2026 games.

6AM (2):

**
-    Miley Cyrus says she’s down with pretty much anything in bed as long as it doesn’t involve animals or anything illegal. Billy Ray has to be one proud father, doesn’t he?
-    Calls – Keith wants to know what the best conceal carry gun is?
-    Like most liberal politicians they don’t believe in guns. They do, however, believe in having an armed bodyguard.
6AM (3):

-    What’s Dennis Leery up to these days?
-    Would public humiliation prevent some women from having babies out of wedlock? Here’s a better idea: What is we start shaming people that abuse the government welfare system?

6AM (4):

**
-    Audio: Al Sharpton lacks the ability to come up with any original thoughts.

 
7AM (1)

-    Audio: Flaming Cheetos are so popular they’re in rap songs now
-    Bob Costas has finally said something that caught the attention of Billy Ed. According to Costas, Bruce Jenner shouldn’t be awarded with any kind of award for changing his gender.
-    A 14-second video on how to make a grilled cheese wrapped in bacon has reached over 40 million hits so far.
-    If we referred to the W&J show as “the world’s best bacon-wrapped show” – would it guarantee bigger numbers?

7AM (2):

-    Tim Cook wants plans to save the radio industry by devising a streaming radio channel of his own.
-    The world’s biggest logic and mathematical puzzle convention is being held in New York City.

7AM (3):

**
-    Audio: Here’s proof that you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to coach a professional sports team.
-    Due to plummeting sales at McDonald’s a consultant has been brought in to ‘reimage’ the company in a more progressive direction. Question is: where will the hammer and sickle be placed in the ‘M’ logo?
-    A Florida woman decided it would be a good idea to throw a hamburger at her cheating boyfriend. Police were called and charges were pressed for ‘assault.’
-    Taser Report

7AM (4):

-    Charlie Sheen got a hold of some bad clams and wound up in the hospital.
-    A woman is rowing a boat from Japan to California.
-    A man has decided to sue a Chinese television network because a female news anchor “stares at him too intensely.”


8AM (1):

-    Producers of The Simpsons have found a sure fire way to ruin the show. Marge and Homer will legally separate and Lena Dunham will be written into the script. Yes folks, it’s time to go.
-    Jeb Bush wants to publically shame women that have babies out of wedlock.
-    Audio: What if the theme from Fresh Prince of Bel Air weas turned into a country song?

8AM (2):

-    There is no such thing as reality television any more.

8AM (3):

-    As of this morning, there are 37 people representing the Republican party for president. Why Rick Santorum, however?
-    Parody: No one wants Rick Santorum to run for president
-    The media is claiming that Marco Rubio is too rich to run for president because he bought a fishing boat.

8AM (4):

-    There was a bomb scare during a press conference in the White House yesterday. Journalists were promptly evacuated only to find their camera gear covered up when the returned.
-    The first thing a racist will do is say they have a lot of black friends.



 
9AM (1):

-    Celebrity Birthdays
-    The TSA has problems keeping armed travelers from boarding planes, but the problem is even worse within the organization itself. Over 70 instances of internal violations have been documented recently.

9AM (2):

-    This day in history
-    Emails

9AM (3):

-    Is it possible to be charged with burglary when you’re just being helpful? A homeless man seems to think so.
-    If you haven’t seen the white trash Wal Mart bash that we put up on Facebook, do yourself a favor and take a second to watch.

9AM (4):

-    Can you imagine a General in the Army that has a husband? This is the reason that ISIS is running away with our crap and using it to kill us.