5AM (1):

-    Barack has called up 400 American troops to do battle with ISIS.
-    The TV people want you to ‘hunker down’ and prepare for heavy rain.

5AM (2):

-    Jeb Bush’s new slogan has conveniently omitted the “Bush” name from the slogan.
-    Hillary Clinton may be the most unlikable human being on the face of the earth.
-    This day in history

6AM (1):

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-    Can you make a movie these days without an Indian and an Asian? How about Jurassic Park with Charlie Wong?
-    Let’s go to Florida this morning: A Florida couple with an 11-year-old boy is under arrest because they left the kid alone for an hour and a half.

6AM (2):

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-    The story that’s burning us up this morning is the ‘black’ leader of the Seattle chapter of the NAACP that turned out to be white.
-    Scientists claim to have seen a polar bear eat a dolphin. According to the team, this is the result of global warming.

6AM (3):

-    We were supposed to get a hell of a rainstorm over the weekend; most places didn’t get much, however.

6AM (4):

-    The woman that chose to row across the Pacific Ocean had to be rescued over the weekend due to a problem with the vessel’s steering system.
-    The price of eggs has gone up 17 cents nationwide.
-    Dave Grohl fell off the stage and broke his leg in Sweden but still finished the show.

 
7AM (1)

-    The gunman that drove up to the Dallas police department bought an armored vehicle on eBay. The only logical thing to do now is to ban eBay.
-    Did you know there’s a red light district in Austria?

7AM (2):

-    Would ya: Courtney Cox or Helen Hunt?
-    What is DAPA? According to Obama it doesn’t matter what it is; he’s funding it with money that’s not even his.
-    The eye witless news team wants you to stay where you are to prepare for the storm.

7AM (3):

-    Who can play the best guitar National Anthem?
-    LeBron James is simply too cocky.

7AM (4):

-    The guys recall when Donny Osmond wanted to whoop Pauly Shore’s ass.
-    The actors in Jurassic Park are just too old to be acting anymore.


8AM (1):

-    How much basketball do you have to watch per game to claim to be an expert?
-    This day in history
-    Who knew the Old’s Delta 88 could make it through several feet of water?

8AM (2):

-    Everyone is looking for their own version of a ‘courage award’
-    Steve Martin has a young chick. Good for him.

8AM (3):

-    A gun went off at the Hotel Astoria over the weekend. According to reports, a member of a wedding party had a gun in his pocket when it suddenly just ‘went off’
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8AM (4):

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-    A man fat disabled man decided to drag his huge, all terrain wheelchair around the Grand Canyon.
-    Can you imagine a world without WD-40?

9AM (1):

-    Happy Birthday to Wal Mart and Arkansas. Also, it’s the state that gave us Bill Clinton.
-    Have you seen the picture of the coon riding the gator? It was taken at the Ocala National Forest in Florida. It almost seems as if the coon is steering the gator in the picture.

9AM (2):

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-    A Connecticut woman was arrested for attacking a police with a bloody tampon.
-    According to the Bible, the Earth is made to be used.
-    Calls – Can the white NAACP girl use the race card against the organization if she gets fired?

9AM (3):

-    Audio: Amy Schumer loves money and food!
-    Eagles’ own Don Henley wants you to know that he’s not making a country album just for the sake of making one; it’s “who he is.”

9AM (4):

-    What’s the weekend body count in Chicago over the weekend? Even a burning body in a trash can was found! All of this in a town where the gun laws are the strictest in the country.
-    There are 50 Block Buster locations in the country.