5AM (1):
- Donald Trump wants Oprah as his running mate in the 2016 Presidential Election.
- How many speedboats can you buy for $100 million? Hillary Clinton would know…
- Perhaps the US should adopt the European Parliament system.
5AM (2):
- There are quite a few twigs and leaves on the road this morning, but Houston will rebuild after tropical storm Bill.
- How can you trust television with all the political spin and lies about weather? Do they not know we’re laughing at them?
- Donald Trump’s first job should be to fire The Pope.
6AM (1):
- Hillary has a few ideas on how to make the economy work. Question is: is she indicating that Barack hasn’t done a sufficient job?
- According to reports, the St. Louis Cardinals hacked into the Astros computer system.
6AM (2):
- An ex-Ravens cheerleader has just pleaded guilty to 4th degree rape of a 15-year-old boy.
- An Alabama man had sex with a male shitzu dog.
- Michelle Obama is visiting London. Meanwhile, the President is stuffing his face with cheeseburgers in the White House kitchen.
- Is Oprah too tight with her money to act as Vice President?
6AM (3):
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- Another benefit of Donald Trump running for President is that he can get us on Brett Michael’s party bus.
- Audio: Rachel Dolezal claims she’s black
- Parody: Rachel Dolezal is a black honky woman
6AM (4):
- Parody: Charles Barkley wants to congratulate the Golden State Warriors
- A man went into TJ Max store and started pleasuring himself with the clothes. When all was said and done, he ‘damaged’ 10 t-shirts.
- Mr. Eaux will vote for Donald Trump simply because of Ivanka.
7AM (1)
- Parody: Shirley Q thinks everyone looks orange these days
- This day in history
- Turns out Donald Trump supports some gun control.
- Audio: Jeb Bush slow jammed the news
7AM (2):
- Audio: This day in history – OJ Simpson’s car chase
- Who did the Bronco actually belong to?
7AM (3):
- Taser Report
7AM (4):
- Audio: Don Trump will be the best President known to man
- Audio: Hank Hill might be an even better President than Donald Trump
- Would you believe that a kid named “Blanket” gets bullied?
- Let’s be honest: There is no Michael Jackson blood in the Jackson kids.
8AM (1):
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- Parody: Where are white people disappearing to?
- This day in history
- 5 tips on buying sunglasses – bigger is better according to one article
8AM (2):
- Who knew there’s a hidden beat box scene Forrest Gump?
8AM (3):
- Hollywood thinks we need more hip hop movies.
- Parody: High drama at the Houston Astros office as the St. Louis Cardinals hack the system
- Why is Whoopie Goldberg still on television?
8AM (4):
- What’s the best way to eradicate wild hogs?
- This day in history
- We want to eat healthy just like the next person, but we don’t want the government to tell us what to eat.
9AM (1):
- Celebrity Birthdays
- Detroit used to be one of the whitest cities in the nation. Now, of course, the landscape is much different.
- This day in history – OJ Simpson raced through the streets of California in his Bronco
- Sad news about John Hurt – He has early stage pancreatic cancer
- Neil Young doesn’t like Donald Trump, but are we surprised?
- What would a fight between Ted Nugent and Neil Young look like? That would be hardcore paper view material right there!
9AM (2):
- Emails – As a Catholic, Jake wants to apologize for the fact that The Pope has placed himself in between major political matters.
- Cops in Kenner say a woman and her husband left their 24-year-old disabled daughter in a hot car while they gambled for four hours in a casino.
- Are you a winner at all when you win in a ‘loser bracket?’
9AM (3):
- When Sally Ride went to space she had to decide if 100 tampons were enough for her ‘consumption.’
- Random Fact: It’s illegal to pretend to practice witchcraft in Canada.
- It’s not illegal to have sex with a dog in Alabama.
- Bill Murray is suspicious of people that don’t like dogs.
9AM (4):
- The nickname for Jeb Bush should be Mitt McCain.
- Emails
- Hillary has been awarded a “liberty medal” for her work overseas.
