5AM (1):

-    The world’s shortest drug lord “El Chapo” has escaped from prison using a mile-long tunnel that just happened to start at the bottom of his cell.

5AM (2):

-    The entire cast of the new Star Wars movie was present at Comic Con in San Diego this weekend.
-    If you threw Justin Bieber off the top of a building in Texas, it probably wouldn’t be considered a crime.
-    If Russia decided to drop a bomb on a city like New York or Los Angeles, they might actually be doing us a favor.

6AM (1):

-    We’re just 15 days away from national hepatitis day. How will you celebrate?
-    Forrest Gump’s mama said it best when she said “Stupid is as stupid does.”
-    Did you watch the Miss USA contest last night? As always, it has nothing to do with legitimate talent.
-    A weekend run to Taco Bell led one woman to draw a knife on another patron.

6AM (2):

-    Audio: Allow your mind to relax with meditation
-    A surfer in Southern California was bumped by Great White Shark over the weekend.
-    A new product for men called “bloxers” is aimed at suppressing the errant boner.
-    Emails

6AM (3):

-    Parody: Kid Rock speaks out about his use of the confederate flag
-    The unemployment numbers that the Obama administration are only lower because the weighted the numbers different than the Bush administration.
-    Whataburger has declared that they will not allow open carry in their restaurants.

6AM (4):

-    Mr. Eaux wants to get on Donald Trump’s security detail, but only if Don offers up his daughter.

 
7AM (1)

-    A ginger was denied the right to fly because she looked “too sickly” to fly according to the airline.
-    Some scientists say that we could see an ice age by 2030.

7AM (2):

**
-    Parody: Do you want an airline to take you somewhere you can wear sandals with black socks and swim in a public pool in your clothes? Try Sanctuary Airlines!
-    Billy Ed wants to be clear that he wasn’t the one to predict the coming ice age, it was actually Walter Cronkite.
-    Ryan Reynolds’ new movie isn’t doing as well as predicted.

7AM (3):

**
-    Parody:
-    There’s a list for everything these days. A list was just released of the states with the least amount of bald eagles and astronauts.
-    Parody: Try the Donald Dump toilet
-    We’d like to offer a cash prize of $1000 for anyone that pushes Don Trump into a pool.

7AM (4):

-    Communism and Christianity cannot coexist together. The two ideologies completely contradict each other.


8AM (1):

**
-    Bernie Sanders is an out of touch old man.
-    You’ve been asking for it for over seventy years: The sequel to Kill a Mocking Bird will be released tomorrow.

8AM (2):

-    Why do football players love to beat women? A Florida State QB  is facing charges after punching a woman in a bar.
-    Tragedy in India!

8AM (3):

-    Parody: Shirley Q comments on her DVR habits
-    Yet another black-on-white hate crime has occurred. The cops are not calling the incident a hate crime, however.

8AM (4):

-    Billy Ed loves his toast, but only when it’s hot. No one likes cold toast and hard butter.
-    This day in history



 
9AM (1):

-    Celebrity Birthdays
-    What movies did well at the box office over the weekend?

9AM (2):

-    The time is coming when the number one language in the US will be Spanish. It’s probably a good idea go ahead and learn it.

9AM (3):

-    Uncle Jessie is going to rehab.
-    St. Louis has seen a spike in crime this year. 92 people were killed there in the first six months.
-    Hollywood has become a giant Halloween party. Whatever you want to be is only limited by your imagination.
-    Emails

9AM (4):

-    The president of Nintendo has died.
-    The Europeans and the Greeks made a bailout that helped the NYSE.
-    68 percent of women have dumped a guy because of his cologne.
-    Remember the old Hams commercials?