MONDAY is the best day to de-stress, because it's also the day you're most likely to die of a heart attack.  It's also the best day to stay home, because of the worst traffic jams.  And it's the worst day to start a diet . . . 33% will fail by Tuesday night.

TUESDAY is our most productive day, so it's the best time to tackle your to-do list.  People also have the least sex on Tuesdays, so it's the best time to get some sleep.

WEDNESDAY is the best day for a first date.  It's also the best day to ask for a raise:  Bosses are most likely to listen on a Wednesday because it's generally the least-busy day at the office.

THURSDAY is the best day to go to the hospital because they're usually the least busy . . . no one wants to ruin their weekend by going on a Thursday.  It's also the best day to have sex.

FRIDAY is the best time to quit smoking, because it's right before the weekend, where temptations are the highest . . . but your willpower is fresh enough that you can get past those temptations and make it through, smoke-free.

SATURDAY is the best day to have a baby.  For whatever reason, kids born on Saturdays somehow end up statistically better off than other kids.

SUNDAY is the best day for eating out, because preparing a Sunday night dinner is the most stressful meal to cook.  It's also the best day to read your email:  People catch up on personal email on Sundays more than any other day